Semiotic Ghost

My neighbor’s electric bill ended up in my mail by mistake. I was going to personally return it to her, use it as an excuse to start a conversation.

But, now she just got home at 3 in the morning and I hear a guy’s voice. Whore. Let me know how those late fees feel.

Filed under: Fulminations,Neighbor,Transmissions
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My political views. The remix.

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Not even Leonard Nimoy can make headsets look cool. But, if you’re going to wear one, at least have a spaceship.

Filed under: Fulminations,Nerdy
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Microsoft reveals, yet again, why design is important. Their new icons released in Office 2008 for Mac have surprisingly gotten even worse. They already had the bubble-letter, glossy-glare thing going on. Why not add a white line around it?

Add all of this on top of Apple’s transparent and reflective dock and you end up with what look like really shiny (completely illegible) blobs of color. At least they stuck with the same color coding for their apps.

Filed under: Fulminations,Nerdy
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Our combined answer to– the creationist idea that the ability to remove a part from a machine and render it useless proves that it is designed is like having a lego set, taking a few pieces away and saying that you can’t build anything with it. Yes, if you take the pieces away after it is already built, it won’t work the way it was supposed to. But, clearly the parts can add up to many different wholes.

Filed under: Fulminations,Transmissions
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This is for real. This is actually happening. Are we this desperate? Have we become this over-medicated?

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The other day I was outside the changing rooms at Forever 21 waiting for my love to try on some clothes. And, as the name of the store implies, the regular clientele appear to be trapped more in a young mindset than a young body type. During the wait, a helpless girl needed assistance: “Does my ass hang out of this dress? Does the color look okay on me?”

She was trying on a short yellow party dress, bright, bright yellow. The contrast of the sunshine yellow against her fake-baked brown skin looked like corn kernals in shit. I wanted to tell her that no one will even notice her ass. I wanted to dive across the room (screaming “nooooo” in slow motion) and save her from a terrible fashion faux pas. I wanted to stop the sales people that came to her aid from telling her that she looked great in it.

Instead I just sat there and tried not to cry. I am weak. I should have helped her.

Filed under: Fashionista,Fulminations,Patterns
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I like altoids. Altoids like me. Aside from enjoying the curiously strong minty goodness, I’m also entertained by their print ads, except for the ones that I’ve seen lately. The recent ads that I’ve seen defy physics and annoy the shit out of me. As anyone who’s ever touched an altoids tin knows, the text on the lid is positioned so that you can read it as you open the tin, so when open the text is upside down. However, in the ads these recent ads the tin is open, but the text is right side up. Not right. I understand that they want the text to be readable in the ad, but it’s just wrong. As soon as I get this issue addressed, I’ll move onto less pressing concerns like world hunger.

Filed under: Fulminations
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I caught the weather report tonight while driving home in the rain: “Tonight there is (and this doesn’t happen often) a 100% chance of showers.”

First off, no shit. It’s raining. Second, 100% isn’t a chance, it’s a fucking sure thing. And for the reputation of forecasters everywhere I hope that the “this doesn’t happen often” was referring to stating the obvious.

Fortunately, meteorological wisdom redeemed itself with a more insightful quote from an article in the RFT: “It was colder than a witch’s tit.”

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My brand new MacBook has a dent in it. I foolishly left it on the floor in the path of the chotzky that fell from bookshelf as I slammed my knee into it. At first I was only concerned with the throbbing pain in my knee. Then, I lamented my marred laptop, realizing that while my knee will heal, my laptop is forever scarred. The clean, brushed aluminum surface is broken. The OCD in me started to twitch. I wanted to scream.

While I repeatedly rubbed the gash, trying to make it disappear, I calmed down. Nothing is perfect. The dent gives my laptop character. I’ll invent some fantastic story about how it got there:

While building houses in Mexico, I pulled out my laptop to refresh myself on the schematics. Just as I opened it a misguided nail ricocheted toward my face. The nail, headed straight for my eye, instead bounced off of my open laptop. Were it not for Apple’s sturdy metal design you and I would be talking eye to eyes. Having come so close to mutilation and possibly death, I now take my laptop everywhere with me and proudly tell the story of how my laptop was damaged in exhange for my life.

Filed under: Fulminations,Prosaic Posts
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