Emote For Fuck’s Sake

Transmitter wrote this in the late evening:

Fucking fuck! I fucking hate motherfucking emoti-fucking-cons. Just seeing those little yellow pimples marring the face of discourse makes me feel like I’m vomiting through my eyes. Fucking less than three, semicolon parenthesis – fuck. Shouldn’t your words express your emotions? Can’t you communicate without resorting to bizarre combinations of punctuation? And, like piss on an open wound you fail to use punctuation anywhere else.

I understand the desire for brevity when trying to reply quickly in an instant message, but our conversations have been reduced to emoticons and acronyms. Who actually says laughing out loud? That phrase is even too outlandish for a 50’s sitcom. Technology is driving our verbal skills back in time. Emoticons are like the caveman grunts of the internet. Emoticons and acronyms are not forms of communicating; they’re stock responses. I’d rather you say nothing at all than reply with an acronym or make up for a lack of expressive vocabulary with an emoticon.