October 31, 2006
Contentment
There is much to be said for contentment and painlessness, for these bearable and submissive days, on which neither pain nor pleasure is audible, but pass by whispering and on tip-toe. But the worst of it is that it is just this contentment that I cannot endure. After a short time it fills me with irrepressible hatred and nausea. In desperation I have to escape and throw myself on the road to pleasure, or, if that cannot be, on the road to pain….A wild longing for strong emotions and sensations seethes in me, a rage against this toneless, flat, normal and sterile life. – Steppenwolf, Herman Hesse
Mediocrity and complacency had gripped me, grabbed me by the wedding finger and tied me to the marriage bed. I had to leave my finger behind, but I’ve broken free. Now I run wild through the streets like a mad man. Starving for intensity, I consume everything that will come near me.
I live off of the highs and lows of life, the raw emotion. I want laughter and sobbing. I want passion and anger. Bipolar is another word for alive. We’ve over medicated ourselves. We take drugs to smooth out the crests and troughs. We lack fervor. We are neither happy nor sad. We are impotent.
Filed under: Patterns,Transmissions
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