Semiotic Ghost

An evening of dancing in a cramped club called Dante’s (trying to pull off hellish chique) was not my idea of a good time. Sure, I’m all for getting shit-faced, but I prefer to do it sitting down far away from other people’s sweat. My amore, however, loves “clubbing,” so I bucked up and paid the cabbie to get us across the river Styx.

Once we arrived at Dante’s (already a few drinks ahead) we ordered more drinks and started dancing (yes, I danced). I actually had a fantastic time. I felt so comfortable, because I was with the person I love. I let myself slip into the music. The crowd around me just became a part of the beat. I even ended up on the stage in front of the DJ booth.

I never thought that I would enjoy hell so much. By the time we reached the ninth level of drunkenness, the lights came on and the cab was waiting outside to ferry us back.

Addendum: Waking up in the bathtub at 7 am is far too sobering.

Filed under: Transmissions
Add a Comment

Listen Fucker! I hope no one has died. In conclusion, happy birthday.

Filed under: Transmissions
1 Comment

The last six months of my life have been nothing but constant change. Piece by piece I’ve flipped my life upside down: new job, new relationships, new apartment, new car, new piercings, new tattoos, new hair, fucking new everything. While I’ve enjoyed and obviously precipitated all of these changes, I can’t help feeling dizzy and ungrounded. I’ve been craving these changes, but I need stability too. I need a base to return to after all of my crazy adventures, a place where I can rest, relax, and feel loved.

I finally found that love. I’ve been flying and flipping through the air and somehow I stuck the landing. I’ve never been happier. This is the one change that’s going to stick.

Filed under: Transmissions
Add a Comment

It’s too fucking perfect. Every thought and eccentricity that I have, all of my random desires even, are mirrored in this person. She can’t be real. I’m certain now that I’m schizophrenic. I’ve invented the perfect friend and lover in my mind. Who needs reality?

Filed under: Transmissions
2 Comments

I saw Kristeen Young, an amazing singer/songwriter/pianist from St. Louis, the other night. Amazing. At one point the music was so overwhelmingly beautiful and intense that my face was actually flushed. Nevermind the drunk assholes who were standing in front of me.

Filed under: Transmissions
2 Comments

Lists have always bothered me. They always feel daunting and oppressive. A list, even if it isn’t numbered, implies a hierarchy of importance. While lists certainly have their usefulness (tasks and to-do’s), I don’t think that they work well for thought and I don’t even like using them for tasks. Maybe that’s why some people think I’m disorganized. I have a different way of thinking, though.

Instead of linear lists, my mind operates in circles. In the middle is a core that processes all the information (thoughts, things to remember, things to do, etc.). This information is processed as it passes through a receptor bar. Each item is placed on an appropriate orbit based on a ratio of importance to processing frequency. In other words, the more important thoughts and items are placed on the inner circles so that they are constantly “on my mind” while the outside rings are only brought up occasionally.

Drawing number 1. (Click to enlarge.)

Occasionally, just like a real universe, my mind experiences meteor showers and supernovas. Meteor showers represent a barrage of shit. Supernovas on the other hand occur when something extraordinary happens in my life. Supernovas completely fuck normal thought. Things get knocked off orbit and the receptor bar is rendered useless since the processor is receiving overwhelming amounts of direct input. Love is a supernova.

Drawing number 2. (Click to enlarge.)

Filed under: Patterns,Transmissions
3 Comments

Overheard while sitting outside of Kaldi’s:

“Speaking of Cosmopolitans, what were we drinking last night?”

Filed under: Transmissions
1 Comment

I hate how Christmas starts immediately after Thanksgiving. Christmas can’t even wait for the fucking sheets to get cold before climbing into bed. What a whore!

You already get the whole month of December, Christmas, so get your cock out of November.

Filed under: Transmissions
1 Comment

The “men are assholes” mantra is certainly an overplayed classic. Of course, I agree wholeheartedly and can gather a fistful of my own experiences to throw at the chauvinists, but I’d just be another shit-flinging chimp. I want to do something more productive than bitching about it. I want to change the way men and women interact. There must be some way to teach men to stop being assholes and women to stop allowing it.

My favorite approach to gender issues has been deconstruction through blurred boundaries or as Donna Haraway put it, “pleasure in the confusion of boundaries.” The male/female binary used to be confronted in the mass media through glam rockers, those iconic androgynous gods like Bowie, Bolan, and The New York Dolls.

I can pull off the androgyny, now I just need to become famous and teach the world to be loving and compassionate or…fucking bisexual. Perhaps the mantra should be changed to “Men are straight.”

Watch Your Phraseology

Instead of saying “that’s so gay,” say “that’s so straight.” Remember boys, straight is the new gay.

Filed under: Transmissions
1 Comment

Clearly the story of Sisyphus endlessly rolling the rock up the mountain is a metaphor for sucking your own dick. Try as you might you’ll never reach the tip…um, top. We’re doomed to spend the rest of our lives rolling around on our backs trying to bring ourselves pleasure.

Filed under: Transmissions
4 Comments